Moving Forward

Part of this journey in losing weight is really just letting go.  I have kept a lot of baggage inside and learning to let go has been the best thing I've ever done for myself.

I'm really learning that how I choose to handle my emotions makes the biggest difference in my discipline.  So often I've thought of discipline as control.  I've been so wrong.  Control is letting someone else choose for me.  If I'm choosing for me, I need to have a desire to move forward.  I no longer allow another person to control me.  I choose everything that goes into my mind and body.  If I don't like what goes into my mind I have two choices.  Filter it through one ear and other the other or internalize it.  I prefer to let it go.  I have no time to internalize too much of what happens in life.  I deserve to know that I'm in control of what I need to keep and what I need to let go.  No one can choose these things for me.

The biggest thing I have to work on is not letting the negative drag me down completely.  I have the complete ability to distance myself from others and to lead my life with happiness.  I deserve it.  I've had way too much in my life.  I need to know that I have weak moments, I do get dragged down, but I fully intend to bring myself up.  I do not need others to tell me what to think and what I need to do with it.

I am by no means perfect, but I do know that I impact my mojo completely.  Realizing how I eat to soothe weak moments.  How I don't eat when I'm overly stressed.  How I can feel guilty for eating something I shouldn't when in all honesty is a human choice.

I need to recognize all of these thoughts.  Should I feel guilty about eating a piece of cheese or a spoon full of peanut butter?  NEVER!  Should i feel guilty about eating 10 doughnut holes, YES!  But the point is it isn't the guilt that's the real problem, its why I ate it.  Why am I feeling insecure?

Insecurity comes from being a single parent.  Insecurity comes from wondering if you can pay your bills every month.  Insecurity comes from knowing you normally get a phone call and it doesn't come.  I'm human.  I'm allowed to feel insecure, but I cannot let it rule my choices.

I'm allowed to be human.  I'm going to be human.  I'm going to have weak moments.  But at the end of the day I need to let go so I can move forward.

I'm all about getting lean.  I'm all about getting down 10 pounds this month.  I'm all about writing instead of eating.

Here's to a bright day full of possibilities!